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By Carol August 20th, 2010
Going Down to Visit the Crocodile
The numbness and shock that I felt last month immediately after my 91 year-old father’s death passed in a couple of weeks. Soon I began to experience waves of sadness, deep fatigue, a lack of focus, physical clumsiness and a diminished ability to solve complex problems—all symptoms of grief. I found myself staring into space wondering what to do next at the same time that I felt the overwhelming pressure of the many tasks that accompany the death of a parent. I was having trouble sleeping, and when I did drop off, my sleep was disturbed by vaguely threatening dreams that I could never recall.
Then I had a dream that I did remember. In this dream I walk down a hill to the edge of the water …
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By Bill August 19th, 2010
Today, August 19, 2010, the New York Times reported on a study published in the New England Journal Of Medicine that cancer patients who started on palliative care along with regular cancer care lived about three months longer than patients given regular cancer care. Many families and patients reject palliative care because they think it means they have given up. Not so, the goal is to ease pain and make the patient more comfortable. This has to mean the patient’s quality of life is enhanced as well.
Last spring after Frank had a fall in the shower, he was in a great deal of pain. Had we known, we would have engaged palliative care then instead of just a month before he died. I am sure he would have been more comfortable, happier, and enjoyed …
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By Bill August 18th, 2010
David Kessler is a noted author, lecturer, and practitioner in end of life, death, and grief issues. I recently attended a one day seminar in Denver given by Mr. Kessler entitled On Death and Grieving. Most of the people attending were professionals in the field of death and grieving, with one caregiver/blogger. We all learned a great deal and went away with new information and ideas as well as having a good time, surprising given the subject.
Mr. Kessler covered several topics; including the profound impact modern medicine has had on the end of life process. For most of history, people died at home, usually after a brief, catastrophic illness. Then, with antibiotics and other medical advances death was somewhat prolonged. Today, people usually die in hospitals after a slow decline punctuated by periodic …
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By Judi August 16th, 2010
Dad loved to sail. I don’t know when his love for sailing was born because he never really talked about it but I do know that he embraced his passion for sailing and boating in general at different times and in different ways throughout his life.
Mom spoke of them sailing on Puget Sound when they lived in Washington state. When I was young I can remember that several years in a row, they spent a week with friends on a houseboat-adults only-baahhh! And we used to spend a week camping and fishing every summer when Dad would rent a fishing boat. I don’t think we did this because Dad liked to fish (he wouldn’t even clean what he caught), I think it must have been because he could pilot a boat, “fishing” was …
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By Bill August 12th, 2010
In Caregiver Gratitude: Part One, Carol outlines the process we used in choosing a place for Frank to live when he moved to Denver from central Florida. Frank was happy with our choice and adjusted to the move fairly well. He liked the food, and the staff members all seemed to take a liking to him and he to them. I think we got lucky.
In her blog in The New York Times Paula Span reports on research that the kind of facility caregivers select, even after extensive research, may not be appropriate for the elder parent. In addition, the five star rating system developed by Medicare seems to have little correlation with resident satisfaction unless, of course, the place is crawling with roaches and sullen employees.
The biggest factor for an aging person’s …
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