Shelfari: Book reviews on your book blog

Meet Gordy

Gordy is a bear; he was actually my mother’s bear.  Gordy was born on my mother’s birthday at the Build-A-Bear Workshop in the mall. Mom picked him out herself from the bins of bear bodies at the workshop.  On the day that he was stuffed, mom made a wish and planted a kiss upon his heart before it was lovingly placed in his chest. At that moment, his place in my mother’s heart was forever secured.

And Gordy’s heart beat true. He became my mother’s constant companion, she never went anywhere without him.  He rarely left mom’s side, accompanying her to meals and dentist appointments, riding with her everywhere her wheel chair would go, carefully wrapped in a baby blanket. He napped when she napped; he sat patiently while she had her hair done …

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Reading Be the Noodle by Lois Kelly

One of the things about blogging that has been fun for me is that every now and then someone drops us an email asking if we would like to review their book on caring for aging parents.  I feel a little bad because I have fallen behind in actually reading the books that have been sent to me.  But I’m very sure the authors understand that caregiving sometimes allows little time for reading.

Fortunately, Lois Kelly’s book Be the Noodle is written in a format that even the busiest caregiver can manage.  Her book contains 50 one or two page chapters, each one focusing on a lesson that she learned as caregiver for her mother Bette in the last months of her mother’s life.  Taken from a daily blog that she wrote for family …

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Caregiving As An Act of Love

Caregiving for an elder is a trying and exhausting task.   We give up much of our own lives to aid another in leaving their life.  I dwelled on this thought in sadness, thinking, “What’s the use?  Work yourself to near exhaustion every day, give up your own life, then they die.”  It seems fruitless and depressing.

What is missing in that assessment is the reason we become caregivers in the first place: love.  We love the aging parent and they love us.  Every act of helping an old and sick parent is an act of love.  In most cases, the response is gratitude and a reflection of love.  Life is so important that one helping another to live, then to leave life, is an affirmation of the wonder and mystery of life.  Caregiving, no …

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Grieving the Death of an Aging Parent: Part Two

Since Dad, who died July 1st, had been a hospice client, Bill and I were eligible for three free sessions with a bereavement counselor.  Around the end of July we began thinking that it would be helpful to talk to someone more experienced on this journey, so we called hospice for an appointment.

We managed to get in two sessions before our compassionate, supportive counselor is laid off due to budget cuts.   It seems ironic just at this time when hospice and palliative care are so much in the news that one of our largest local hospice organizations would need to be letting staff go.

We were offered options.  We could still go back and finish our three sessions with a different counselor.  Or we might  pick up on another option, maybe a grief …

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The Family Caregiver’s Journey: A Lifetime Supply

Bill and I stopped by our neighborhood Staples on Monday to pick up the business cards we had ordered for Inside Aging Parent Care.  We needed a padded mailing envelope to send some of the cards on to Judi.  Bill went off in search of them while I waited at the printing and copying counter for the cards to be finished.

(Are they ever fast there!)

When Bill came back he had a huge package of padded envelopes in his hand.  An increasingly familiar conversation followed:

Bill:   This is all they had.  It’s more expensive than buying a single, but they could easily last us for the rest of our lives.

Carol:   Have you noticed how many times we’ve said that lately–that something will last us the rest of our lives?

Bill:   Pretty …

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