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By Carol May 1st, 2012
We’ve been hearing a lot about the recent research showing that elders are happier than twenty-somethings. In fact, it looks like they are happier than anyone—even at the very end of life.
Many are skeptical of this research. From an adult standpoint, an elder’s decline, frailty, pain and illness are quite depressing. How can my aging and ill parents be happy? We sure wouldn’t be in their shoes. The research must be flawed.
Our Ted-talk-tracking friend recently sent us a link to a talk by Laura Carstensen who explores the research in depth and is convinced that the research conclusions are correct. So when Dad told me “I’m fine” the day before he died, he very well might have meant it.
Here is Dr. Carstensen’s talk:
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By Bill April 26th, 2012
Feeding Tube
We continue to get lots of searches concerning feeding tubes for elderly parents. Judi wrote about her experience with Audrey, Carol and Judi’s mother. I think Judi handled the situation well, and her decision was correct.
Many times an aging parent’s physician will recommend a feeding tube offering the rationale that it will make them better. In cases where there is an acute illness that a feeding tube will help resolve that may be true. In cases of advanced dementia, that is probably not the case. A good article here points this out. The evidence is that feeding tubes do not prolong life, prevent aspiration pneumonia, make the patient more comfortable, or help with pressure sores.
Carol and Judi’s father Frank had several bouts of pneumonia and a doctor in Florida …
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By Carol April 17th, 2012
A friend alerted us to the recently posted TED talk given by Dr. Peter Saul, an intensive care physician in Australia. The problem of frail elders’ lives artificially prolonged in the absence of clear instructions about end of life wishes is not simply an American problem. Dr. Saul’s research in Australian intensive care units illuminates the difficulty families everywhere experience at the end of life if there are no instructions and no history of open discussion about these tough issues.
Deaths made difficult by inappropriate medical intervention are not only inhumane and expensive. They leave their mark on those closest to us. Caregivers may be left to struggle with many difficult feelings in the aftermath. The guilt–did we really do our best? The fear–is this how we will die?
Dr. Saul encourages us to …
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By Judi April 15th, 2012
This is a very good interview with Jane Gross, author of A Bittersweet Season, Caring For Our Aging Parents…And Ourselves, available on our shelfari-top shelf. In this interview, Ms. Gross shares some of her wisdom from her time as a family caregiver. It is always so good to learn from those who have made this journey before us. Please listen and comment below.
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By Bill April 5th, 2012
Young and Old
Most readers of this blog, like Carol, Judi, and I, are or have been caregivers of aging parents. That means we have seen firsthand the aging process and its result. Our loved ones experienced decline that tended to progress over an extended period. Long life almost always means diminished quality of life due to this physical and mental aging process.
The decline I describe is more common now than in previous human history. In earlier times, a disease of the elderly like pneumonia took one’s life rather quickly. Now, with hospital intervention and antibiotics, an elder may suffer several bouts of the disease, each taking its toll, before death interrupts the process. The elder person has a greater longevity, but at what cost in overall quality of life in one’s last …
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