Inside Aging Parent Care

May 2012, Bill’s Retirement Update

Bill — Thu, 17 May 2012 09:27:17 +0000

Retirement?

Retirement is working out pretty well. I have a part-time job I love. I am writing for this blog every week, a regular discipline that keeps me motivated. Carol and I just completed an eight week writing class at the Lighthouse, a Denver writer’s collective. I have even started a short story. I am using my history degree in my work and my writing, something I never did in thirty years of water treatment or eight years as a counselor.

I am more engaged now than when I was working full time. Most of those full time work years involved rotating twelve hour shifts. The longer I am away from those shifts the more I realize the toll they took. Shiftwork affected my health, my daily energy, my relationship with Carol, and ...

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Steve’s Journey

Carol — Tue, 15 May 2012 15:31:31 +0000

Our son Steve is one of the most courageous people I know. In the last 18 months he has gone through two major surgeries with very little crankiness or complaint. He has changed his habits and his life almost totally and become a healthier and happier individual. Now he is facing his third major surgery in two years. Here is his story:

My name is Steve, and I’m in the process of getting my life together. I was obese and had to have gastric bypass surgery in December of 2010. So far I have lost about 200 pounds. I feel so much better about things now from how I look to being more confident around people.

This wasn’t an easy process for me. I have had to give up on a lot of things ...

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Mother’s Day 2012

Bill — Thu, 10 May 2012 05:59:32 +0000

View From Pearl Pass

Mother’s Day is an important day on my calendar. I mark the day because my wife Carol is the mother of two wonderful children who love her dearly. I honor her because of the love and devotion she has given them since birth. My life is better because of the three of them. I can share in their love and their bond of kinship, although I came into their lives later.I also honor my mother. She has been gone since 1958, when cancer took her after a terrible illness. It was not a good death, for her or for me. Those were the days when children (I was 15) were kept away from the dying. I barely shared in her decline as my family attempted to act like nothing ...

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Add a Jewish Mother to the Family (If You Don’t Already Have One)

Carol — Tue, 08 May 2012 09:21:25 +0000

With Mother’s Day fast approaching, the motherless among us–like Judi, Bill and me–can probably use a good dose of mother love and advice. And where better to turn than to a Jewish Mother. The following video is courtesy of our friends at the LA Jewish Home.

Congratulations to the LA Jewish home on their Centennial celebration.

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Stair Lift – Technology For Aging In Place

Judi — Mon, 07 May 2012 04:19:46 +0000

Is A Stair Lift An Answer For Aging In Place?

As people age it can sometime be hard to stay in the home that they love, especially if they are experiencing mobility problems. My mother had severe osteoporosis which caused her spine to be curved and affected her balance . One hip was higher than the other which caused her a lot of difficulty.

In the home that she shared with Bernie, the washing machine and dryer was located in the basement. We worried about mom navigating down the steep stairs to do the laundry. A fall down those stairs could have been tragic. In the end it was the fall from her bed, not down the stairs, that removed her permanently from the home she loved.

Navigating stairs is a common roadblock to ...

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Whine of the Ancient Caregiver

Bill — Thu, 03 May 2012 17:45:27 +0000

Victims?

Herewith some caregiving issues that bug me. They aren’t in any order; I put them down as they come to me. Not enough sleep this week, so it is time to complain.

Taking seniors from their homes. Caregivers often become concerned, even afraid about their elderly parent living alone. The aging parent may have health problems, some memory problems, and just do not seem to cope as well as they used to. Their children decide to move their loved one to assisted living, a nursing home, or in with one of them. This may or may not come after consulting with the elder. Well, of course they aren’t living like they used to; they’re old. The wish of the aging parent has to be paramount. We are talking about people who have ...

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Maybe Dad Really Meant It When He Said “I’m Fine.”

Carol — Tue, 01 May 2012 09:31:28 +0000

We’ve been hearing a lot about the recent research showing that elders are happier than twenty-somethings. In fact, it looks like they are happier than anyone—even at the very end of life.

Many are skeptical of this research. From an adult standpoint, an elder’s decline, frailty, pain and illness are quite depressing. How can my aging and ill parents be happy? We sure wouldn’t be in their shoes. The research must be flawed.

Our Ted-talk-tracking friend recently sent us a link to a talk by Laura Carstensen who explores the research in depth and is convinced that the research conclusions are correct. So when Dad told me “I’m fine” the day before he died, he very well might have meant it.

Here is Dr. Carstensen’s talk:

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More On Feeding Tubes

Bill — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 09:00:59 +0000

Feeding Tube

We continue to get lots of searches concerning feeding tubes for elderly parents. Judi wrote about her experience with Audrey, Carol and Judi’s mother. I think Judi handled the situation well, and her decision was correct.

Many times an aging parent’s physician will recommend a feeding tube offering the rationale that it will make them better. In cases where there is an acute illness that a feeding tube will help resolve that may be true. In cases of advanced dementia, that is probably not the case. A good article here points this out. The evidence is that feeding tubes do not prolong life, prevent aspiration pneumonia, make the patient more comfortable, or help with pressure sores.

Carol and Judi’s father Frank had several bouts of pneumonia and a doctor in Florida ...

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Elderproofing the Yard

Carol — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 16:00:23 +0000

“The only way I am leaving this house is in a body bag,” asserted one of our new friends, a founder of the Denver virtual village now known as A Little Help. Along with Bill and me and 90% of those responding to a recent AARP survey, she prefers to age in place in her home rather than contemplate a move to a senior care community.

On the other hand, younger family members can become concerned about this trend which means more elders living alone and unsupervised. Are they safe? Are they happy? Are we doing enough for them?

The tension between these two viewpoints has given rise to many technological innovations designed to monitor an elder’s safety and daily activity from afar. These range from simple panic buttons that summon help in case ...

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What Your Doctor Doesn’t Know About Drug Interactions

Judi — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 02:07:53 +0000

Bill’s concern about drug interactions is well founded. The potential for drug interaction is extensive. The more medications a person takes, the higher the risk for drug interaction. As Bill points out, this is a special concern for seniors and family caregivers.

It makes sense to use the same pharmacy to fill all or your prescriptions. At least if you use the same pharmacy, it is possible to ask the pharmacist about your concerns with drug interactions. After all, the pharmacist is the drug expert, not your doctor.

It is a good practice to carry a list of all of the medications you are taking, including over the counter meds, with you to the pharmacy and show it to the pharmacist when you pick up your prescription. At the very least, get in the ...

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Overtreatment, Overmedication, Care Managing

Bill — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 00:19:05 +0000

Physicians

I am 69 years old. With an interesting life, now and in the past, I have some health issues. I have a knee replacement, a missing tooth, a missing finger, chronic eczema, Barrett’s esophagus, high blood pressure (HPB), ADD with occasional irritability, occasional insomnia, some osteoarthritis, high cholesterol, and, oh, did I say that I am bald?

To deal with all this, I take Ritalin for the ADD, three blood pressure meds to deal with the HPB caused in part by the Ritalin, Lovastatin, generic Zyrtec, Benadryl, Omeprazole, and several supplements. I know lots of people take many more meds than I because I am always looking for a weekly pill container that won’t come open in my luggage. Some of those containers are huge.

What this means is that a lot ...

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Occupy Death

Carol — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 09:57:44 +0000

A friend alerted us to the recently posted TED talk given by Dr. Peter Saul, an intensive care physician in Australia. The problem of frail elders’ lives artificially prolonged in the absence of clear instructions about end of life wishes is not simply an American problem. Dr. Saul’s research in Australian intensive care units illuminates the difficulty families everywhere experience at the end of life if there are no instructions and no history of open discussion about these tough issues.

Deaths made difficult by inappropriate medical intervention are not only inhumane and expensive. They leave their mark on those closest to us. Caregivers may be left to struggle with many difficult feelings in the aftermath. The guilt–did we really do our best? The fear–is this how we will die?

Dr. Saul encourages us to ...

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