Not Engaged
I was doing the grocery shopping yesterday. The store was busy with Valentine’s Day shoppers getting their last minute gifts, myself among them. There were at least two non-shoppers in the store as well. As I pushed my cart near the main entrance I saw one of my fellow water department retirees walking out the store. I wasn’t able to catch him to talk to him because of the crowd . The unusual thing is that he was leaving without any purchases. I also saw another elder retiree hovering near the exit greeting children, talking to their mothers and the store staff, and generally impeding shoppers trying to leave the store.
I have not seen the elder man before, but I have seen the fellow retiree other times. Once was in my local library branch. He lives in the next neighborhood, so it was not too unusual, but he came and left without any library materials. I do know that he divorced not long before he retired. My guess is that he was in the store and the library for somewhere to go. The elder was in the store to have some human contact.
Neither of these two men and many others I see around the city seem to have anywhere meaningful to go. They are solitary and not engaged in fulfilling activities. One of my fears about retirement is that I would end up like those men, either going from place to place for something to do or staying in one place somewhat inappropriately.
I call that my Airstream fantasy. I see myself living alone in a travel trailer but not traveling, just holing up and isolating, probably drinking too much. I delayed retiring until I was confident I would not fall into the pattern. What I have built are a couple of part time jobs that give me very different experiences, one with children and one in hospital emergency rooms. I write for this blog and have a fulfilling marriage with the love of my life. There are friends to sit in the coffee shop with discussing our latest surgeries and how the boomers are going to have to pay for them.
Then there are my interests: geology, history, religion, bicycling, the movies, four wheeling, and hiking. Lately Carol and I have been watching the “Why Shakespeare” segments on Charlie Rose. We then watch the play and look into some references to understand the 400 year old language and the historical context of the plays. There is some good television! Downton Abbey is our current favorite. Oh, yes, caregiving. Now caregiving is mostly intermittent, but always around the corner or at some level ongoing.
As you can see, there are ways a retired person can stay engaged. It takes some work and a bit of creativity, along with a highly motivated wife, but I am doing pretty well. My current task is to pray for those who are not engaged, along with the people in crisis I encounter in the emergency rooms where I work.
