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By Carol November 7th, 2010
Recently Bill, Steve and I were able to sit down together to watch this wonderful inside look at the realities of palliative care and hospice. I had recorded it months ago on my DVR, but we had not had a moment to view it.
Interviews with patients, caregivers, volunteers and professionals show us the heart of this service. You can view a selected excerpt here on our blog or to see it in its entirety click one of the the links that will take you to the Channel 6 website.
Living With Dying
Watch the full episode. See more RMPBS Specials.
Contrast these patients experience with those facing a hospital death Social Bookmarking
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By Bill October 12th, 2010
The software we use to bring this site to you counts how many times a search is made using the same keywords. One of the most common searches is caregiver guilt. Caring for elderly parents is stressful, exhausting, time-consuming, often frustrating, frightening, and often thankless. So, we need guilt?
Well, it seems that guilt is part of elder caregiving. After all, the aging parent is old, sick, weak, and dying. We are from a culture that solves problems, fixes things. Our loved ones most often can’t be fixed, and then they die. So, guilt.
We were long-distance caregivers for Frank when he lived in Florida. We had a geriatric case manager who did a fine job, and we visited as often as we could and stayed in touch. One thing we all missed …
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By Bill August 3rd, 2010
As a caregiver of an elderly parent (in-law) I lived with stress and fear. I was stressed by the extra work, finding time to enjoy experiences with Frank, dealing with the medical system, watching him slowly decline. I was afraid I wasn’t doing what was best for Frank, that Carol and I would make some mistake or overlook something that would either make him worse or better.
We were afraid we weren’t meeting Frank’s needs. We didn’t spend enough time with him. We weren’t having the serious talk about death. The medical system seemed unresponsive; the medications weren’t helping and possibly were doing harm, but we worried when he refused to take them. He wasn’t eating enough, he refused the protein drinks. I began to dread the visits, but felt guilty if I …
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By Bill May 16th, 2010
“Hill, what hill? I didn’t see any hill!” I saw this message on a t-shirt. “Caregiving, what caregiving? I don’t see any caregiving” is the reaction I get from friends and coworkers when I tell them about our website. They may visit the site out of courtesy, but they don’t linger. Those of us caring for elderly and dying parents are invisible, and some non-caregivers prefer it that way.
Confronting aging, illness, dying, and death are not part of our mainstream culture. Most people are unwilling to prepare for dealing with an elderly relative in the process of losing his or her independence. As I talk about my experiences as a caregiver, a change of subject is the usual response. I am having trouble dealing with this. Caregiving and now writing about caregiving is …
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By Bill April 24th, 2010
I have some experience with caregiving done badly and the emotional fallout for survivors. In my view, a huge problem for caregivers of elderly parents and other ill family members is a fragmented patient care system that has no one tracking the patient’s condition on a regular basis. In my father’s case there seemed to be little communication between specialists and none with me. There was no formal rehabilitation plan and little apparent concern for my father’s future welfare.
My sense is that he was seen as old, dying, and thus of little concern. I did not see him that way at all as he led a rich life until the heart attack, and I wanted him to resume that life as much as possible. What I did not do was take charge of …
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