|
|
By Carol November 20th, 2011
My dad, Frank, died over a year ago at the age of 91. When he finally came to live in Denver two years before his death, I thought I would be able to help him have a better life, a happier old age. It turned out that the real job was to support him while he moved closer and closer to death.
As the days of his life grew shorter, my confusion multiplied. As much I knew he would die one day, I was caught up in Dad’s insistence that he would live to be “at least” 100. I think it seemed easier to accept this idea than to understand that death was creeping nearer to us with every passing day.
The last days and weeks of Dad’s life were very difficult for all …
Continue reading this post here
By Bill October 20th, 2011
Are There Answers? More Caregiver Fallout
Last post I wrote about the aftermath of caregiving for Frank and the toll it is still taking on my life. I have not experienced a dark night of the soul after witnessing his final illness and death, but something more like a succession of cloudy days of the soul. There have been many good days and experiences, always punctuated by those days where nothing seems to be going well.
I have had the dark nights before in my life, more than one. Those times are always followed by some kind of epiphany leading to a personal and spiritual breakthrough. They very much paralleled what St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross described in their writings. What led me to the epiphanies was prayer. …
Continue reading this post here
By Bill September 29th, 2011
When Frank decided to leave Assisted Living in Florida, he moved to Denver. Audrey moved to a nursing home in Boise where Judi, her son Doug, and her new husband Willie live. The result of this trans-continental moving, caregiving, and visiting is that the family became much closer.
This blog, Inside Aging Parent Care, has also helped bring us together. All the family reads it, and Steve has guest-posted. The whole thing was Judi’s idea. She is our technical wizard and writes very well for someone from Idaho. Carol is the theoretician, and I bring the married into the family perspective.
There is the other side of caregiving for elder parents. When the elders start to lose their independence, the children often find themselves in conflict about what to do. The direct caregiving duties …
Continue reading this post here
By Bill August 25th, 2011
Electrocardiogram
Today was to be surgery day for Steve, Carol’s son and my stepson. No food since Midnight for surgery scheduled for 3:30 pm. He gets to Pre-OP with his father (Carol and I are still working on the recovery from her surgery). The medicos do their checks, and Steve is having some atrial fibrillation. So, move from Pre-Op to the ER. No surgery today. It looks at this point that the fibrillation is probably stress-related, but no one is saying for sure. More doctors, more tests, and maybe surgery Monday.
The first time Steve went in for surgery it was cancelled because his blood pressure was too high. Months ensued before he could have the surgery. Overall however, he’s doing great and we hope this is just another bump in what is turning …
Continue reading this post here
By Bill July 28th, 2011
Confused
Today I visited my friend who just had a knee replacement. As we were leaving for the bookstore and coffee shop, we almost collided with a car driven by an elderly man who was turning the corner and headed right for us. I stopped and he moved back into the proper lane for turning. I made a remark, and my friend indicated that the couple are over 90 and slipping a bit, her more than he.
Here is a man who, judging by his driving, needs a caregiver. Instead, he is caregiver for a woman who requires a lot of care. As a result he is still driving and taking her with him when he runs errands. My friend says there are several older couples in his little neighborhood. By older, he means older …
Continue reading this post here
|
|
