Shelfari: Book reviews on your book blog

Gerotranscendence--Good News for Caregivers and Their Aging Parents

Part Three of Three

Learning about the theory of gerotranscendence changed everything for me as a caregiver of an aging parent.  In his book Gerotranscendence, Lars Tornstam talks about problems the mental set of younger caregivers can create when they are trying to understand the very old.  We have been taught to see it as a problem when an old person seems disengaged. We fear that our aging parent might be depressed or sick.  He might have dementia.  He may have reached a stage where he is in a retreat from life as a preparation for death.

New Perspectives on the Inner Life of the Very Old

Tornstam’s research has uncovered another possible reason for what might look like disengagement from life.  In the developmental stage of gerotranscendence, an elder’s self perceptions and perceptions …

Continue reading this post here

Caregiver Guilt Gives Way to a Daughter's Grief for Her Aging Father

Part One of Three

When I look back on my sleepless nights and stress filled days, I now see that much of the time what was going on is that I was grieving.  I’m learning for myself that grieving is not something that is quick or easy.  Neither is it something that happens all at once, and then you’re done.  As Bill wisely comments, grieving can still be going on at some level even 30 or 50 years after the death of a parent.

Most of the time I didn’t know that l was grieving.  After all, Dad is right here.  I’m able to have much more time with him than in the many years he lived in Florida or Minnesota.  How could I be grieving for someone that I see and talk to …

Continue reading this post here