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By Carol November 20th, 2011
My dad, Frank, died over a year ago at the age of 91. When he finally came to live in Denver two years before his death, I thought I would be able to help him have a better life, a happier old age. It turned out that the real job was to support him while he moved closer and closer to death.
As the days of his life grew shorter, my confusion multiplied. As much I knew he would die one day, I was caught up in Dad’s insistence that he would live to be “at least” 100. I think it seemed easier to accept this idea than to understand that death was creeping nearer to us with every passing day.
The last days and weeks of Dad’s life were very difficult for all …
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By Bill November 17th, 2011
B-24 Liberator
Veteran’s Day and Thanksgiving are the November holidays. Many people see Veteran’s day as an extra day off or just another workday. Thanksgiving is about overeating and football, and the real holiday event is shopping on Black Friday.
This year, the November holidays are blending into memories. This was triggered by an email we got from a regular reader. She wants us to record memories and voices of Alzheimer’s people. Audrey and Frank, Carol and Judi’s parents, both had dementia, but not Alzheimer’s. Bernie, Audrey’s second husband, did have Alzheimer’s. We weren’t direct caregivers but we saw the terrible progression of his disease.
Bernie was a WWII Veteran of the Eighth Air Force which had the highest casualty rate of any U. S. Army unit in the war. He was …
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By Carol November 1st, 2011
Recently one of our readers wrote to us about some of his feelings following the death of his mother. “I am overwhelmed with guilt for not always being a good caregiver – giving in to work stressors, tiredness, other concerns,” he said. “…I go over every detail of caregiving and find the things I believe I did and didn’t do. It is sad as I wanted to do the best for my Mom, but I feel I failed her.”
We’ve talked to a lot of caregivers who feel the same as our reader. Years after his mother’s death, one friend who had spent a couple of hours every day after work with her at her assisted living residence confesses that he feels he didn’t do enough. Now, when Judi, Bill and I look back …
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By Bill October 13th, 2011
Final Crossing
Recently I have been a bit out of sorts. I am tired, irritable, and grumpy. I didn’t know why until I found myself thinking about Frank after an unusually frustrating time in traffic. I am still dealing with feelings about years of caregiving for a man who died despite all our efforts.
My wife Carol’s father Frank died 15 months ago after living in Denver for two years with Carol and me as his caregivers. Prior to the move to Denver we were long distance caregivers with frequent visits to Florida. We had a support system for him in Florida, a nice assisted living facility, a Geriatric Case Manager, and an old friend we hired to take him on errands and outings.
He decided on his own to move to Denver. …
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By Carol September 18th, 2011
The folks at Online Degree love to research. Recently their top staff writer Anna Miller contacted us with some research they have done on well known Alzheimer’s disease patients. We thought we’d share it with you. My skills are not advanced enough to correct some of the formatting problems resulting from my copy and paste approach, but if you want to see the original work, click the following link:
10 Famous People Who Battled Alzheimer’s
Alzheimer’s disease is a tragic condition that steals the mental abilities of its victims, keeping them from recognizing things and people they once loved and isolating them in their own world. Researchers have been trying to figure out the mysterious disease for years, but so far, there is no cure. More than 5 million Americans have the …
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