Inside Aging Parent Care

Palliative Care Is Not What You Think

By Judi June 12th, 2011

In the current issue of the AARP Bulletin there is a very good article on palliative care. The author points out that “Palliative care takes a team approach, providing a doctor, nurse, social worker and chaplain working together to go beyond strictly medical issues to address all of a patient’s needs. That could include managing pain and nausea associated with a disease as well as counseling or help in navigating the health care system.”

I have often thought that palliative care would have been appropriate for my mother and although I know that I did the best that I could for her, I regret not calling them in. Looking back, I can even pin-point the exact time that I should have requested palliative care for mom.

My excuse is ignorance. A poor excuse, …

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Caregivers Consider–Who will Care for Us?

By Carol May 17th, 2011

As Dad looked ahead to the end of his life, he was very clear about some of his wishes. He definitely wanted to be cremated and to have his ashes scattered at sea. He was less clear about how much medical intervention he wanted and how he wanted to die. Years ago he made a living will expressly forbidding extraordinary measures. In his last years he frequently asserted that he planned to live to be “at least” 100 thus avoiding serious discussions about palliative care or hospice until the very end. As his caregiver and without his input, I became overwhelmed as death approached, unnamed and unacknowledged.

If l learned anything from Dad’s death, it is that the plain talk about end of life issues cannot begin too soon. And, it isn’t enough to …

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Caregiver Memories: A Moment of Unforgettable Beauty

By Carol May 1st, 2011

Maybe it’s because Denver is such a dry-land place, but the springtime sights seem especially touching here. For a few days in early spring our flowering ornamental and fruit trees erupt into bloom. Every year the beauty that seems to explode almost overnight from dead-looking tree branches takes my breath away.

This year when the trees came into full blossom, Bill and I experienced an odd sort of double vision. Driving around town soaking up the spring beauty, we both remembered one particular day from this time last year.

It was the day of what turned out to be Dad’s last semiannual visit to the VA geriatric clinic. I always drove the car, parking as close to the entrance of Dad’s assisted living residence as possible. Bill would go in and get Dad and …

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Dying…and Living

By Bill February 10th, 2011

I just saw a news story about the need for oncologists to tell their patients when they are dying. Too often, patients receive aggressive chemotherapy during their last two weeks of life. It turns out that less than 40 percent of patients have a serious talk with their doctors about their chances. I have written before about overtreatment and the need for patient, family, and doctors to have ongoing talks about treatment and alternatives such as palliative care and hospice.

The American Society of Clinical Oncology has a booklet on planning end-of life care. I have always thought of oncologists as only stopping aggressive treatment when the patient dies. It looks like that may be changing. Another website about end-of-life planning is here.

Now, here is the other side of all this. Late last …

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Should I Put A Feeding Tube In My Aging Parent?

By Judi January 23rd, 2011

One of the amazing things about tracking your visitors on a blog is that you get to see what people type into Google and the other search engines that causes them to end up at your website. To my amazement the question above is one of the top searches that brings people here. This question also brings back a memory for me.

Several months before our mother passed away, it was suggested that I think about putting a feeding tube in her “before it was too late”. Those were the very words that some well meaning person used. I don’t even remember who it was that said it but I sincerely believe that their intentions were good. The suggestion alarmed me.

My mother had long been a light eater and she ate very slowly. …

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Should I Put A Feeding Tube In My Aging Parent?

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