Inside Aging Parent Care

Bridging the Communication Gap as a Caregiver

By Carol March 8th, 2011

Reviewing The Unexpected Caregiver by Kari Berit

Many books and articles emphasize how important it is to keep the lines of communication open between caregivers and aging parents. In particular there has been a lot of talk lately about having “The Talk,” usually characterized as an ongoing discussion about end of life issues and preferences. We can also find a lot of advice about how to discuss an elder’s driving problems or inability to live alone without help. But what about the day to day conversational sharing that is a part of the good relationship necessary for productive discussions about the big problems?

I was surprised to lose a formerly easy give and take with my dad when dementia crept into the equation. As he became more confused, I found that Dad also became …

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Old But Wise

By Bill March 3rd, 2011

Wise Elder

I am sitting here writing and waiting for my next run to the bathroom. I have a colonoscopy and endoscopy tomorrow. This is one more example that I am going to be the aging parent we have been writing about, and the date is approaching. I did not have medical procedures like this when I was 45.

I am not complaining too much, although I have had no solid food today, and won’t until tomorrow afternoon. I probably wouldn’t be alive today without our medical system. I have had a number of serious medical conditions that in another era would probably have killed me.

Now, I expect to live longer than my Father. People like me and the Boomers who are following will live longer and put more demands on Medicare …

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Caregivers Wonder, “Who Am I Now?”

By Carol January 25th, 2011

Fifty and Fabulous by Jaki Scarcello Lights Our Path

Jaki Scarcello has written the guidebook for women who are journeying through the midlife years and beyond. Fifty and Fabulous is a book sized to slip into your handbag, and carry with you–to dip into while you’re waiting for the bus or standing in the grocery check-out line. This is the sort of book you want to take in small meditative bites and chew over with the women friends who are your companions on the path.

The material for Fifty and Fabulous comes from interviews Jaki conducted with dozens of women between the ages of 45 and 102 living in five different countries. Her interviews are not based on random sampling, but on the experience of crossing paths with older women who intrigued her and …

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How Does a Caregiver Make the Right Decision if an Aging Parent Cannot?

By Carol December 19th, 2010

Did you know that every hospital has a bioethics committee whose job it is to consult with family caregivers about their care decisions if the patient cannot decide for him or herself? I didn’t. This is just one of the things I learned from David Solie’s recent interview with clinical bioethicist Viki Kind. Another thing I didn’t know is that CPR works only about 1% of the time for the frail elderly in multi-organ failure. And, when it does, quality of life afterward will probably be severely compromised.

In fact, Viki emphasizes bringing the issues of quality of life into all the medical decisions for patients in later life. She helps us redefine compassionately what “doing everything” for an aging parent might be when a parent is going through the final illness. Click the …

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Coffee with Kari Berit

By Carol November 28th, 2010

I had one of my most enjoyable times so far as a blogger on Thursday morning. I spent an hour in a hotel coffee shop with Kari Berit, a professional consultant the field of caregiving and eldercare. Kari hosts a weekly radio interview program for family caregivers. The show, The Unexpected Caregiver, is broadcast every Thursday from KYMN in Northfield, Minnesota. She also has written an interesting book by the same name.

We have recently created a couple of blog posts around her radio show. When I emailed her last weekend with a technical question about her website, she responded promptly to my question, and to make a long story short, we arranged to meet face to face when she was here in Denver last week.

Talking with Kari is great fun. She is a smart, enthusiastic, …

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