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Dying…and Living

I just saw a news story about the need for oncologists to tell their patients when they are dying.  Too often, patients receive aggressive chemotherapy during their last two weeks of life.  It turns out that less than 40 percent of patients have a serious talk with their doctors about their chances.  I have written before about overtreatment and the need for patient, family, and doctors to have ongoing talks about treatment and alternatives such as palliative care and hospice.

The American Society of Clinical Oncology has a booklet on planning end-of life care.  I have always thought of oncologists as only stopping aggressive treatment when the patient dies.  It looks like that may be changing.  Another website about end-of-life planning is here.

Now, here is the other side of all this.  Late last …

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Should I Put A Feeding Tube In My Aging Parent?

One of the amazing things about tracking your visitors on a blog is that you get to see what people type into Google and the other search engines that causes them to end up at your website. To my amazement the question above is one of the top searches that brings people here. This question also brings back a memory for me.

Several months before our mother passed away, it was suggested that I think about putting a feeding tube in her “before it was too late”. Those were the very words that some well meaning person used. I don’t even remember who it was that said it but I sincerely believe that their intentions were good. The suggestion alarmed me.

My mother had long been a light eater and she ate very slowly. …

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Rocky Mountain PBS Living With Dying

Recently Bill, Steve and I were able to sit down together to watch this wonderful inside look at the realities of palliative care and hospice.  I had recorded it months ago on my DVR, but we had not had a moment to view it.

Interviews with patients, caregivers, volunteers and professionals show us the heart of this service.  You can view a selected excerpt here on our blog or to see it in its entirety click one of the the links that will take you to the Channel 6 website.

Living With Dying

Watch the full episode. See more RMPBS Specials.

Contrast these patients experience with those facing a hospital death Social Bookmarking

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Grieving the Death of an Aging Parent: Part Two

Since Dad, who died July 1st, had been a hospice client, Bill and I were eligible for three free sessions with a bereavement counselor.  Around the end of July we began thinking that it would be helpful to talk to someone more experienced on this journey, so we called hospice for an appointment.

We managed to get in two sessions before our compassionate, supportive counselor is laid off due to budget cuts.   It seems ironic just at this time when hospice and palliative care are so much in the news that one of our largest local hospice organizations would need to be letting staff go.

We were offered options.  We could still go back and finish our three sessions with a different counselor.  Or we might  pick up on another option, maybe a grief …

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Palliative Care

Caregivers of aging parents face many difficult decisions.  It is especially difficult when, as children, we do not want to take charge of an elder’s affairs.  We want them to retain their autonomy as long as possible and not interfere in their decisions for their own care.

The time comes, however, that as caregivers we see our elder experiencing increasing discomfort, whether pain, emotional upset, neurological behavior problems, severe weight loss, difficulty breathing, and a host of other problems.  If your loved one is suffering for most any reason, it is time to have your local palliative care agency determine if your older parent is a candidate for their services.

In our case, we waited too long.  Frank fell in the shower and hit his back on the bench.  The impact was right over …

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